The Blathering in Charleston

After chickening out of Austin in 2011 and waiting too late to register for New Orleans in 2012, I finally made it to The Blathering in Charleston in 2013.

 

In some ways, the weekend was exactly what I expected. In some ways, it was even more than I expected. I came home exhausted but feeling that in the span of four days I made some deep bonds with some special people who are now "My People"-my real-life friends, not just Internet friends. And that feels pretty wonderful.

 

I don't want to recap every minute of every day of the weekend, but I do want to capture some of my favorite moments, observations, and regrets.

 

Favorite Moments:

• Saving a seat for and gabbing the whole way from Houston to Charleston with sweet DeeAnne on the plane. Meeting the chic and adorable Arwen at baggage claim.

• Being picked up at the airport by the fabulous and super fun Erin, who later in the weekend called me "Carrie Bradshaw" and who I lovingly dubbed "Sassypants." Adore Erin!

• Whisking Ginger out the door upon her arrival to ride Ollie the Trolley downtown for dinner with DeeAnne and me. We ended up on the rooftop of the Charleston Crab House and walked in a big square around downtown later in the evening. It was such a nice night and great way to get to know each other as roommates.

      

• The first book club conversation I had over the weekend at Social with Ginger, Laura, Ashley, and Tara G. (aka Other Tara!). Love these girls and we had such a great conversation about books and just life in general. I was so glad to have a chance to get to know all these beautiful and amazing ladies better.

• Having drinks with the larger group at Henry's on the rooftop. It was cool to see (almost) everyone in one place.

• Getting to know Julie better when her GPS took us on a scenic route to Eli's Table for brunch (and the free beignets we grabbed while walking over). Thanks again for the ride, Julie!

• Trying to get massages with Laura, Jessica, and Ginger and then heading back to the hotel to hang out poolside. The poolside chatting was so fun, especially after Laura and I decided to grab appetizers at the bar for sharing and then the fabulous Jen Bernardi, who I had the pleasure of getting to know over coffee in San Antonio the week before The Blathering, brought her famous trail mix! I feel like I got to talk to so many people by the pool and it was so awesome and relaxing to share lounge chairs and just gab.

• Having an in-depth conversation with the beautiful Ginger about ourselves and our families on the bar patio while the sun was setting before the boat cruise. Then joining Danielle, Nora, Blair, Julie, and Jen Bernardi for more pre-boat bonding.

• The Salami Pants Incident of 2013, which solidified my love of Laura!

• Watching Emily do the running man on the rooftop deck of the Fish House. :) And finally getting a chance to really chat with Roomie Tara over drinks and then back in our room, when we got on the elevator and everyone else headed to the hotel bar. (We thought you were following us on the elevator, ladies!) We talked for an hour before we finally called it a night.

• Hanging out with Danielle, Jen B., Caitlin, Tara G., Ginger, and DeeAnne at Queology after post-brunch shopping at the market. This was just relaxing and probably the first opportunity I had to get to know Caitlin, Danielle, and Tara G. even better.

• Popsicles! I was a big fan of the chocolate sea salt and raspberry lime. I also really enjoyed chatting with Erin, Elsha, April, Laura, Jessica, Tara, and Jenna. When we caught the water taxi back to the hotel, I also got some quality time with Jennifer Lyker who is so lovely.

 

• At the Alley, I was glad to get to talk to Blair, Maggie, Elsha, Miranda, Danielle, and Julie a little more, and my roommates Tara, Ginger, and DeeAnne. And Erin, aka Sassypants, made me laugh harder than I had all weekend!

• Back at the hotel bar afterwards, I talked Pens hockey with Kate Welsh and we bonded a little over our mutual hatred of Marc-Andre Fleury.

• Tara waking me up to give me a hug goodbye as she left early Sunday morning.

• Despite the onset of a migraine, I enjoyed the last opportunity to chat with some great ladies, including Ashley and Tara G., and Jennie Canzoneri over donuts. I wish the darn migraine hadn't made me so woozy I couldn't really enjoy the cab ride to the airport I shared with Danielle and Blair. Sorry I was so out of it, ladies.

 

Observations:

• Everyone was really nice. There were moments I felt awkward, but those passed fairly quickly usually. (Or maybe I was awkward all weekend and everyone was just really nice about it.)

• Maggie is totally as adorable and funny in person as I expected, although I think I stressed her out asking about the bakery!

• The Organizers put a lot of work into the weekend-thank you ladies! I really appreciate everything you did to make the weekend fun for all of us!

• Since I'd been to Charleston several times before, I felt no need to try and see any of the sights, which freed me up to relax and hang out with people. I think I could've sat by the pool talking all weekend.

Regrets:

• Not doing beach yoga with Jen B. on Saturday morning (even though Creepy Old Guy was totally checking the yoga ladies out).

• There are SO many fabulous ladies that I did not get to spend time getting to know. For that, I am very sorry ladies! Guess that means I'll have to go to Seattle next year, right? I've never been to the Pacific Northwest or the West Coast at all, so I think I'm required to go.

Plus, now that I've found "My People," I can't wait to see you all again. :)

Forty is Fab With Four to Go

Moving isn't the only thing that's been keeping me busy the last few months. Two things that were on my list of things to do to celebrate turning 40 have been going on as well.

Round 1, Game 1, April 20th against the Lakers

In April, my BFF and I started going to all the NBA home playoff games for our beloved San Antonio Spurs and watching all the away games as well. It's all Spurs all the time right now and it is so exciting, because the Spurs are officially the Best in the West, having won the Western Conference last Monday night! They will face either the Miami Heat or the Indiana Pacers in the NBA Finals starting June 6th.

When I fangirl, I fangirl hard.

The Spurs have been to and won the Finals four times previously (1999, 2003, 2005, and 2007), but it's been six long years since their last title win. It is so amazing that they have made it back and that we've been a part of it, at games in person! I am praying they win it all and would love for the deciding game to be at home-it would be amazing to be there!

My favorite part of the experience is not just the games and the winning, although I love that! It's the ritual of driving to the games early with my friend, parking in Lot 4, grabbing a bite to eat somewhere in the AT&T Center, catching up with other people we know, watching all the players warm up, hearing some amazing performances of the national anthem, enjoying the hoopla surrounding the Spurs introductions, alternately cursing, cheering, and dancing throughout the game, getting bottomless soda refills and deciding what to stress-eat in the second half (popcorn, cotton candy, or regular candy), walking elatedly to our car after a win, and listening to post-game sports talk while dissecting the game on the way home. We only have a few games left to enjoy it for this year (Four to Go!) and I'm starting to miss it a little already, but I'm hoping for a wonderful winning end to the experience. Go Spurs Go!

View from our seats in the second row of the upper level.

In the midst of all the Spurs fun, my actual birthday arrived and I threw together a small birthday party at our house in about two weeks' time, once I figured out when our Spurs games were going to be. It was actually fantastic, as the Spurs won the semi-finals just after midnight ON my birthday, we had the party the next day, and then the first game of the Western Conference Finals was the following day and the Spurs won that game too. So much Spurs goodness! But, back to the party...

J worked hard all week putting lights up in our trees overhanging the deck, mowing the grass, and generally cleaning up the yard and deck for the party. I ordered Tex Mex food from my favorite restaurant and a cake from my favorite bakery and invited my three girlfriends to come over with their families. I bought bubbles for all the kids and pulled some of Sophie's toys outside for entertainment purposes. We set up the food inside, but we ate on our tables outside. I also made margaritas for the first time probably since Sophie was born and everyone seemed to enjoy them!

I have great friends.

 

And we all have great kids.

 

Love these ladies.

Thank goodness Sophie didn't make J put 40 candles on the cake-this was enough!

 

Sweet girl helped me blow them out!

Party deck!

Many years of friendship in this picture.

I had originally thought about having a much bigger party, but in the end, the size of the party was perfect. I felt like I got to talk to everyone, the kids played great together, and it was relaxed and chill.

On my actual birthday-getting my glam on with Sophie at the kiddie salon.

Forty has been pretty fabulous so far (my boss even arranged for all my client teams to serenade me on the :40 mark of each hour when we celebrated my birthday at work!). Looking around at my party, I just felt happy and blessed to have such good friends, to live in our new house, and to have such a sweet family. And since I'm lucky enough to have all of that in my life, I made the same wish when I blew out candles on two different birthday cakes this year. And based on the rest of this post, you can probably guess what I wished for. :)

Let's do this Spurs! Go Spurs Go!

 

 

 

I Still Have Boxes to Unpack Three Months Later

I'm not sure I can actually call myself a blogger, as I post so infrequently. Honestly, I was never very good at keeping a diary, and this blog feels more like a diary to me most of the time. Who am I kidding, no one is reading this anyway, so I can write whatever I want. Or not. :)

 

Anyway. The reason for the blog absence since February is simple. We moved. That should be in all caps. WE MOVED. And this was my biggest, most adult move ever. Instead of loading up a UHaul or a friend's truck with stuff from a storage unit or apartment, we hired movers who spent nine hours over two days moving an entire houseload of furniture from our old home to our new home.

 

I didn't think it would be hard. Buying and selling the houses had been fairly simple. In January, we saw a new house we liked, put an offer on it, and had the offer accepted in about three days. Our closing date was March 6th. We debated moving to the new house before we listed our old house, but in the end, I panicked about having two mortgages for any amount of time, so we put our house on the market on Valentine's Day, had 11 showings and received three offers over the weekend, and accepted an offer on the 18th, with a closing date of March 18th. Done. Twelve days between closings seemed adequate. I took the week off to facilitate the move. Seemed easy enough.

 

I just didn't really understand how much stuff we had! When we moved into our first house in 2005, we bought new furniture that was delivered directly to the house. Then, we had a kid, and all of her furniture was delivered...directly to the house. When I contacted the moving company, I was all "1,800 square feet, three bedrooms, two sofas, a dining room set, and boxes." The day the movers came (three guys, one truck) I was all "Oh, yeah, all this stuff in the attic needs to go, and the garage, and the patio set..." and on and on. I didn't think we would ever get it all to the new house. I was like, "WHO BOUGHT ALL THIS STUFF?!"

 

Once the stuff was all IN the new house (nine hours of the movers' time, plus several additional trips to get clothes out of closets and such), what did I do? Immediately begin buying more stuff. Yeah, I know. I'm never moving again though, so I won't have to deal with moving all this stuff out! We actually needed some more stuff though, as our new house is bigger than our old one (3,000 square feet, five bedrooms, three full bathrooms, three living areas).

 

I was really looking for about 2400-2600 square feet and four bedrooms, but J and I both loved this house immediately. It was the only house we saw that we both agreed on. It felt like the right house, and we are so happy with it, although it is strange to have two bedrooms more than we have people in our family. With our previous house, the loft and two upstairs bedrooms overlooked the living room and our master bedroom was right off of that on the main floor, so it kind of felt like we were all in the same room, all the time. J works from home when he goes on call every few weeks and it was hard for him to get privacy, as Sophie would be playing in the loft right by his computer. Nothing says "professional" like a four-year-old informing 40 of your colleagues on a conference bridge that she has to go potty. Also, Sophie's bedroom was small, so her toys were in every room...the loft, the living room, our bedroom, both bathrooms. It drove me nuts.

 

In the new house, one bedroom is a playroom for Sophie's toys. One bedroom is an office/mancave where J can be on the computer and work in privacy. The only downstairs bedroom is the guest bedroom with a full bath next to it, which was fantastic when my mother-in-law visited in April. It will also be fantastic if my parents ever have to move in with us someday-the bathtub even has one of those bars in it to assist you getting in and out of it! Sophie has a bathroom that connects to her bedroom, which I think will be nice when she's a teenager. Our master has a separate sitting area that I'm making into a reading room for me.

 

Besides the move itself, we have been on a renovation streak in the new house...there has barely been a week without a contractor/workperson of some ilk in our house. We've replaced the water heater and put a water softener in. I had tile, crown moulding, and new lights put in the kitchen. Then, we had a plumbing problem and had to have some pipes fixed, which meant new drywall in our family room ceiling. This week, we are having all 28 windows in our house replaced (they are single pane and we live in the flight path to San Antonio International Airport, so we are upgrading them to block sound as well as help with energy efficiency hopefully). Sometime in the future, we also need to get our shower retiled and our showerhead raised as it currently is at the level of J's nose...the previous owners were shorter than we are. :)

 

Some of the best things about the new house have nothing to do with the house itself really. Sophie seems to have grown up a lot since we moved in. She is more independent and spends more time playing on her own than requiring us to entertain her. She was excited to visit the terrific elementary school she will start at in the fall and seems to harbor no longing for the old house at all. We are one subdivision over from one of my best friends, so she and I get to spend more time together casually. It seems easier to have people over as the house itself holds more people, has more places for people to sit, and has a bigger backyard. It's just so lovely and I'm really enjoying living in it.

 

It's still a work in progress, which is OK since I'm never moving again, but here's a house tour.

 

Starting with the outside.

 

Here's the formal living room, a nice place to sit and read. This is our old living room furniture with new pillows to spruce it up.

 

We didn't have a formal dining room in our last house, so it's nice to have my nice table and china cabinet together here instead of in the kitchen for all the entertaining I do-ha! That's a joke. I still love it though.

 

The family room is comfy with reclining couches. (These are new purchases.)

 

 

Here's the kitchen before the work we had done.

 

Here's what it looks like after. No more 80s lightbox, new tile, and crown!

 

The eat-in kitchen overlooks the deck in our backyard, which is one of my favorite parts of the house.

 

Guest bedroom and bath downstairs.

 

 

Upstairs, the playroom is the first room you find.

 

 

Sophie's bedroom is next and it connects to her bathroom.

 

 

Down the hall is a game room with a wet bar...currently, it just contains furniture we don't have a spot for...we don't know what we're doing with this room yet.

 

 

 

Off the game room is J's office.

 

Off the game room in the other direction is the master, starting with the sitting room. I need to buy bookshelves, a lamp, and a ladylike desk for this area.

 

Here's the main part of the master bedroom and the master bathroom.

 

 

 

Here's the house as seen from the backyard. There is a balcony off our master that I hope to get some lounge furniture for and the deck has built-in benches and a built-in picnic table, perfect for get-togethers.

Easter 2013

 

My 40th Birthday Party-that's another post

 

I'm so happy to have the move behind us and to be making the house a place we'll love to live in forever, because, again, I'm never moving again!

 

How have you survived buying, selling, and moving? Anyone else addicted to HGTV? I'll try to post a little more frequently once I get more boxes unpacked. :)

 

 

 

 

 

40's the New 20, or the New Black, or Something Fab, Right?

One of my favorite movies of all time is When Harry Met Sally. I originally saw it in the theater in 1989 when I was 16. I have seen it probably hundreds of times since then. I own it on DVD and yet I stop at it every time it's on TV. In my opinion, it's one of those classic movies that stands the test of time. I highly recommend you watch it if you haven't had the pleasure before now. I can quote it almost line for line, and the lines are so good! (RIP Nora Ephron.)

 

When J and I got married, we put this WHMS quote on our wedding program: "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." It seemed fitting. :)

Lately, I find myself thinking of another classic WHMS exchange. Sally has just found out her ex-boyfriend Joe is getting married to the woman who was supposed to be his rebound and she is doing the ugly cry of all ugly cries. Harry, her friend, comes over to provide comfort and an endless supply of tissues.

 

Sally: [Crying hysterically] And I'm going to be forty!

Harry: When?

Sally: Someday!

Harry: In eight years.

Sally: But it's there. It's just sitting there, like some big dead end.

 

I turn 40 in three months. EEK! It is ON MY MIND. Now, I'm not in the same situation as Sally, who at the time in the movie is 32, single, and childless. She's worried about the biological clock. I'm married to J, we have Sophie, and our family is complete. We are incredibly blessed. So I am really obsessing over something completely stupid.

 

I didn't feel this way about turning 30...when I was turning 30, things were super exciting. J and I were dating and we spent my actual 30th birthday in Canada so we could attend his sister's wedding and I could meet his family. We were already talking about getting married. In fact, he proposed to me four months after we returned from our trip and we got married the next year.

 

My 30s have been the best decade of my life for sure. No more angsty high school drama. No more Single Bitter Woman on the dating scene in my 20s. Other than our infertility battle, life in my 30s has been nothing but sweet.

So I think that's why I'm obsessing about turning 40...I don't want my 30s, and the way my life is going now, to end. I still feel essentially youthful, but definitely wiser than in my younger days, and that's great. But 40 just sounds Officially Old. Forty years old, with a Kindergartener...yep. Older Mommy, right here.

So silly, I know. Still, to make myself look forward to my birthday, which is in May, I have been coming up with a list of things I want to do this year to MAKE FORTY FAB!

MAKE FORTY FAB!

1. Go to The 2013 Blathering in Charleston. I chickened out of going to the one in Austin in 2011, and then, just as I decided I really wanted to go to the one in New Orleans last year, all the spots were filled. I'm not missing out again! I signed up a month ago as soon as I saw registration was open before I could chicken out. This is a 40th birthday present I'm giving myself this year-a weekend away, in one of my favorite cities, with a gaggle of Internet ladies who seem fantastic and fun and who I can't wait to meet. Hopefully, they will like me too, even though I'm pretty sure I'm the old lady in the bunch. ;)

2. Go to all the Spurs Playoff Games. My BFF and I purchased a partial playoff package last year and then regretted we didn't start off with Game 1, Round 1. Even though the Spurs lost two games shy of going to the FINALS, it was still such an amazing ride supporting my team with my friend. My birthday (May 17th) always falls in the midst of the playoffs, so last year we spent my birthday at a game! And the Spurs Championships have always happened in odd years ('99, '03, '05, '07), so their chances of winning it all are even better this year! :) GO SPURS GO!

My 39th Birthday

3. Throw a 40th Birthday/Housewarming Party in our new house. Have I mentioned we are moving in March? To a house I'm extremely excited about? With a playroom for all of Sophie's toys, an office/mancave for J, and a formal dining room for me? (It also has a little sitting area in our master bedroom that I am claiming as mine for a reading area!) While I REALLY wanted to take a fabulous 40th birthday trip this year (J turns 40 in September), we needed to move to get Sophie into a better elementary school for Kindergarten next fall. As such, my dreams of Paris for my 40th had to go by the wayside (maybe our 10th anniversary next year?! I'm going to keep trying!), but I am really excited about our new house and what could be better than a birthday/housewarming party to celebrate with family and friends? I just have to enlist my mom to help with the food (am total undomestic goddess sadly) and plan it so it doesn't conflict with a Spurs playoff home game!

4. Have a Mother-Daughter Spa Weekend. My Mom and I did this two years ago and had so much fun, but couldn't find a time to make it happen last year. Even if we do it later in the year, I hope we can find time to spend time together one-on-one relaxing and getting pampered this year.

5. Visit My Two College BFFs. The year we turned 30 we all met up in Santa Fe for a birthday weekend. At the time, we were in Dallas, San Antonio, and Phoenix, so it was a great in-between spot to meet up. We ate, drank wine, and went to a spa. Now, my two BFFs both live in Phoenix, so it is more likely I will go meet up with them IN Phoenix if we can all make it work (one of them has 4 kids under the age of 7). We'll still try to do a spa or something!

Just making this list makes me excited about the year ahead. 40's the new 20, right?! What have you done to celebrate significant birthdays/occasions in your life?

A Christmas Miracle

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love the decorations, music, and family traditions. Although I am Santa's number-one fan, as a Christian, I'm always mindful that the reason for the season is a miracle birth.

For anyone battling infertility, Christmas is a season of emotional landmines. Aside from the "miracle birth" narrative, the entire season is focused on families and children. You see them while Christmas shopping. Happy little faces beam at you from family photo Christmas cards. All your friends talk about is what their children want and what they plan to give them. When you are childless and very much want not to be, your heart and your spirit take a beating during what to seemingly everyone else is a joyous time.

I went through two Christmases battling infertility. The first was early in my battle. I was sad and getting a growing sense something was off, but we weren't officially infertile yet, just trying to get pregnant with no luck. By the second in 2007, I was battle-scarred by seven rage-filled months on Clomid, several invasive and embarrassing tests, and two misfires on IUIs. (The first had to be scrapped due to the need for more genetic testing-I was a carrier for cystic fibrosis, so J had to be tested and we had to postpone the IUI. Luckily, he was not a carrier. The second scheduled, but first actual, IUI failed right around Thanksgiving. It was hard to feel thankful.)

I really wanted to take the month of December off. I knew Christmas was going to be hard on me and I felt like taking a break from the hormones, the trigger shot, the knowing-every-second-of-every-day-where-I-am-in-my-cycle, the two-week wait, the progesterone pills I had to put in my vajayjay twice a day everyday after the IUI, all of it. I saw nothing but heartache ahead.

J is the one who convinced me to go through it all again that December. It amazes me to think back on that now, as there were definitely points in our journey where he was ready to stop if I was, where he felt like it was too much to put myself through, and I was adamantly not going to stop until there was a baby in my arms. At the moment I faltered, he boosted my spirit. Our chances on getting pregnant on the first IUI were 8 percent. The chances on the second IUI were 15 percent, almost double. In J's mind, that was reason enough to try again. I'll never know exactly why he was so confident that we should proceed in December, but I'm forever grateful he was steadfast and supportive and kept me going.

We went to our RE's office on the morning of December 14th, 2007, to check things out via the oh-so-fun vajayjay ultrasound. The previous month, none of my follicles looked promising. On this day, I had two OK follicles and one very large, VERY PROMISING follicle. It was absolutely the first time on any of my MANY mortifying vajayjay ultrasounds that I could actually "see" what the doctor was looking for, and he was very pleased. Of course, it was only one lovely follicle, but that was more than I had ever had develop properly before. He recommended we do the trigger shot that night and come in two days later for the IUI. My Mom and Daddy came over that night so Mom could help me with the shot. (J hates needles and I couldn't bear to give it to myself. My Mom was practiced in giving her sister insulin shots, so she took the job. Love my Mom. Of course, she would do anything to be a Nana!)

On the morning of Saturday, December 16th, 2007, J and I went to the RE's office and submitted ourselves to our various indignities. We went home and I spent the next two weeks attempting to distract myself in all ways possible. I really wasn't in the Christmas spirit. Mostly, I expected the worst and braced myself for it.

My pregnancy test at my RE's was scheduled for the morning of New Year's Eve. I was off work and J and I had made no plans to celebrate since I figured I'd be home sobbing into the remnants of an entire chocolate cake, while watching the ball drop in Times Square-a fitting end to my hellish year.

I went for the test first thing, then drove to my parents' house to hang out with them...J was at work. I didn't expect to hear news till the end of the day. A mere two hours later my phone rang and my doctor's words were "I hope you weren't going to make a New Year's resolution to lose weight this year, because you're going to gain a lot of weight!" I was like, "What?!" and started crying and then he said I was pregnant.

I'll never forget turning to look at my parents and seeing tears streaming down my Daddy's face. I immediately called J to tell him the good news...I hate that he wasn't with me, but since we weren't expecting good news, we hadn't really thought about it. J came home from work early that evening and we went out for dinner and smiled and laughed all night. My heart has never felt so light. We're pregnant, we're finally having a baby, we kept saying. We couldn't believe it.

Now, on the other side of my infertility battle, I'm back to loving Christmas again. Every year, during the Christmas season, I remember the circumstances surrounding Sophie's miracle birth. Although she was actually born in August, she was conceived at Christmas. She's my Christmas miracle. I feel incredibly blessed and extremely grateful. The holidays are sweeter than ever before with Sophie in them.

Sophie and me at "Peter Pan" this week.

Sophie as an Angel in her school Christmas Program this week. It's been a busy week!

But every year, I pray for those who battle on. For all the women and men silently suffering, afraid to open Christmas cards, tearing up at touching holiday commercials, wondering why they still wait for their child. I pray for them because I've been there. I pray for their miracles.

Merry Christmas to you and all the miracles in your lives.