I Still Have Boxes to Unpack Three Months Later

I'm not sure I can actually call myself a blogger, as I post so infrequently. Honestly, I was never very good at keeping a diary, and this blog feels more like a diary to me most of the time. Who am I kidding, no one is reading this anyway, so I can write whatever I want. Or not. :)

 

Anyway. The reason for the blog absence since February is simple. We moved. That should be in all caps. WE MOVED. And this was my biggest, most adult move ever. Instead of loading up a UHaul or a friend's truck with stuff from a storage unit or apartment, we hired movers who spent nine hours over two days moving an entire houseload of furniture from our old home to our new home.

 

I didn't think it would be hard. Buying and selling the houses had been fairly simple. In January, we saw a new house we liked, put an offer on it, and had the offer accepted in about three days. Our closing date was March 6th. We debated moving to the new house before we listed our old house, but in the end, I panicked about having two mortgages for any amount of time, so we put our house on the market on Valentine's Day, had 11 showings and received three offers over the weekend, and accepted an offer on the 18th, with a closing date of March 18th. Done. Twelve days between closings seemed adequate. I took the week off to facilitate the move. Seemed easy enough.

 

I just didn't really understand how much stuff we had! When we moved into our first house in 2005, we bought new furniture that was delivered directly to the house. Then, we had a kid, and all of her furniture was delivered...directly to the house. When I contacted the moving company, I was all "1,800 square feet, three bedrooms, two sofas, a dining room set, and boxes." The day the movers came (three guys, one truck) I was all "Oh, yeah, all this stuff in the attic needs to go, and the garage, and the patio set..." and on and on. I didn't think we would ever get it all to the new house. I was like, "WHO BOUGHT ALL THIS STUFF?!"

 

Once the stuff was all IN the new house (nine hours of the movers' time, plus several additional trips to get clothes out of closets and such), what did I do? Immediately begin buying more stuff. Yeah, I know. I'm never moving again though, so I won't have to deal with moving all this stuff out! We actually needed some more stuff though, as our new house is bigger than our old one (3,000 square feet, five bedrooms, three full bathrooms, three living areas).

 

I was really looking for about 2400-2600 square feet and four bedrooms, but J and I both loved this house immediately. It was the only house we saw that we both agreed on. It felt like the right house, and we are so happy with it, although it is strange to have two bedrooms more than we have people in our family. With our previous house, the loft and two upstairs bedrooms overlooked the living room and our master bedroom was right off of that on the main floor, so it kind of felt like we were all in the same room, all the time. J works from home when he goes on call every few weeks and it was hard for him to get privacy, as Sophie would be playing in the loft right by his computer. Nothing says "professional" like a four-year-old informing 40 of your colleagues on a conference bridge that she has to go potty. Also, Sophie's bedroom was small, so her toys were in every room...the loft, the living room, our bedroom, both bathrooms. It drove me nuts.

 

In the new house, one bedroom is a playroom for Sophie's toys. One bedroom is an office/mancave where J can be on the computer and work in privacy. The only downstairs bedroom is the guest bedroom with a full bath next to it, which was fantastic when my mother-in-law visited in April. It will also be fantastic if my parents ever have to move in with us someday-the bathtub even has one of those bars in it to assist you getting in and out of it! Sophie has a bathroom that connects to her bedroom, which I think will be nice when she's a teenager. Our master has a separate sitting area that I'm making into a reading room for me.

 

Besides the move itself, we have been on a renovation streak in the new house...there has barely been a week without a contractor/workperson of some ilk in our house. We've replaced the water heater and put a water softener in. I had tile, crown moulding, and new lights put in the kitchen. Then, we had a plumbing problem and had to have some pipes fixed, which meant new drywall in our family room ceiling. This week, we are having all 28 windows in our house replaced (they are single pane and we live in the flight path to San Antonio International Airport, so we are upgrading them to block sound as well as help with energy efficiency hopefully). Sometime in the future, we also need to get our shower retiled and our showerhead raised as it currently is at the level of J's nose...the previous owners were shorter than we are. :)

 

Some of the best things about the new house have nothing to do with the house itself really. Sophie seems to have grown up a lot since we moved in. She is more independent and spends more time playing on her own than requiring us to entertain her. She was excited to visit the terrific elementary school she will start at in the fall and seems to harbor no longing for the old house at all. We are one subdivision over from one of my best friends, so she and I get to spend more time together casually. It seems easier to have people over as the house itself holds more people, has more places for people to sit, and has a bigger backyard. It's just so lovely and I'm really enjoying living in it.

 

It's still a work in progress, which is OK since I'm never moving again, but here's a house tour.

 

Starting with the outside.

 

Here's the formal living room, a nice place to sit and read. This is our old living room furniture with new pillows to spruce it up.

 

We didn't have a formal dining room in our last house, so it's nice to have my nice table and china cabinet together here instead of in the kitchen for all the entertaining I do-ha! That's a joke. I still love it though.

 

The family room is comfy with reclining couches. (These are new purchases.)

 

 

Here's the kitchen before the work we had done.

 

Here's what it looks like after. No more 80s lightbox, new tile, and crown!

 

The eat-in kitchen overlooks the deck in our backyard, which is one of my favorite parts of the house.

 

Guest bedroom and bath downstairs.

 

 

Upstairs, the playroom is the first room you find.

 

 

Sophie's bedroom is next and it connects to her bathroom.

 

 

Down the hall is a game room with a wet bar...currently, it just contains furniture we don't have a spot for...we don't know what we're doing with this room yet.

 

 

 

Off the game room is J's office.

 

Off the game room in the other direction is the master, starting with the sitting room. I need to buy bookshelves, a lamp, and a ladylike desk for this area.

 

Here's the main part of the master bedroom and the master bathroom.

 

 

 

Here's the house as seen from the backyard. There is a balcony off our master that I hope to get some lounge furniture for and the deck has built-in benches and a built-in picnic table, perfect for get-togethers.

Easter 2013

 

My 40th Birthday Party-that's another post

 

I'm so happy to have the move behind us and to be making the house a place we'll love to live in forever, because, again, I'm never moving again!

 

How have you survived buying, selling, and moving? Anyone else addicted to HGTV? I'll try to post a little more frequently once I get more boxes unpacked. :)

 

 

 

 

 

40's the New 20, or the New Black, or Something Fab, Right?

One of my favorite movies of all time is When Harry Met Sally. I originally saw it in the theater in 1989 when I was 16. I have seen it probably hundreds of times since then. I own it on DVD and yet I stop at it every time it's on TV. In my opinion, it's one of those classic movies that stands the test of time. I highly recommend you watch it if you haven't had the pleasure before now. I can quote it almost line for line, and the lines are so good! (RIP Nora Ephron.)

 

When J and I got married, we put this WHMS quote on our wedding program: "I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." It seemed fitting. :)

Lately, I find myself thinking of another classic WHMS exchange. Sally has just found out her ex-boyfriend Joe is getting married to the woman who was supposed to be his rebound and she is doing the ugly cry of all ugly cries. Harry, her friend, comes over to provide comfort and an endless supply of tissues.

 

Sally: [Crying hysterically] And I'm going to be forty!

Harry: When?

Sally: Someday!

Harry: In eight years.

Sally: But it's there. It's just sitting there, like some big dead end.

 

I turn 40 in three months. EEK! It is ON MY MIND. Now, I'm not in the same situation as Sally, who at the time in the movie is 32, single, and childless. She's worried about the biological clock. I'm married to J, we have Sophie, and our family is complete. We are incredibly blessed. So I am really obsessing over something completely stupid.

 

I didn't feel this way about turning 30...when I was turning 30, things were super exciting. J and I were dating and we spent my actual 30th birthday in Canada so we could attend his sister's wedding and I could meet his family. We were already talking about getting married. In fact, he proposed to me four months after we returned from our trip and we got married the next year.

 

My 30s have been the best decade of my life for sure. No more angsty high school drama. No more Single Bitter Woman on the dating scene in my 20s. Other than our infertility battle, life in my 30s has been nothing but sweet.

So I think that's why I'm obsessing about turning 40...I don't want my 30s, and the way my life is going now, to end. I still feel essentially youthful, but definitely wiser than in my younger days, and that's great. But 40 just sounds Officially Old. Forty years old, with a Kindergartener...yep. Older Mommy, right here.

So silly, I know. Still, to make myself look forward to my birthday, which is in May, I have been coming up with a list of things I want to do this year to MAKE FORTY FAB!

MAKE FORTY FAB!

1. Go to The 2013 Blathering in Charleston. I chickened out of going to the one in Austin in 2011, and then, just as I decided I really wanted to go to the one in New Orleans last year, all the spots were filled. I'm not missing out again! I signed up a month ago as soon as I saw registration was open before I could chicken out. This is a 40th birthday present I'm giving myself this year-a weekend away, in one of my favorite cities, with a gaggle of Internet ladies who seem fantastic and fun and who I can't wait to meet. Hopefully, they will like me too, even though I'm pretty sure I'm the old lady in the bunch. ;)

2. Go to all the Spurs Playoff Games. My BFF and I purchased a partial playoff package last year and then regretted we didn't start off with Game 1, Round 1. Even though the Spurs lost two games shy of going to the FINALS, it was still such an amazing ride supporting my team with my friend. My birthday (May 17th) always falls in the midst of the playoffs, so last year we spent my birthday at a game! And the Spurs Championships have always happened in odd years ('99, '03, '05, '07), so their chances of winning it all are even better this year! :) GO SPURS GO!

My 39th Birthday

3. Throw a 40th Birthday/Housewarming Party in our new house. Have I mentioned we are moving in March? To a house I'm extremely excited about? With a playroom for all of Sophie's toys, an office/mancave for J, and a formal dining room for me? (It also has a little sitting area in our master bedroom that I am claiming as mine for a reading area!) While I REALLY wanted to take a fabulous 40th birthday trip this year (J turns 40 in September), we needed to move to get Sophie into a better elementary school for Kindergarten next fall. As such, my dreams of Paris for my 40th had to go by the wayside (maybe our 10th anniversary next year?! I'm going to keep trying!), but I am really excited about our new house and what could be better than a birthday/housewarming party to celebrate with family and friends? I just have to enlist my mom to help with the food (am total undomestic goddess sadly) and plan it so it doesn't conflict with a Spurs playoff home game!

4. Have a Mother-Daughter Spa Weekend. My Mom and I did this two years ago and had so much fun, but couldn't find a time to make it happen last year. Even if we do it later in the year, I hope we can find time to spend time together one-on-one relaxing and getting pampered this year.

5. Visit My Two College BFFs. The year we turned 30 we all met up in Santa Fe for a birthday weekend. At the time, we were in Dallas, San Antonio, and Phoenix, so it was a great in-between spot to meet up. We ate, drank wine, and went to a spa. Now, my two BFFs both live in Phoenix, so it is more likely I will go meet up with them IN Phoenix if we can all make it work (one of them has 4 kids under the age of 7). We'll still try to do a spa or something!

Just making this list makes me excited about the year ahead. 40's the new 20, right?! What have you done to celebrate significant birthdays/occasions in your life?

A Christmas Miracle

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love the decorations, music, and family traditions. Although I am Santa's number-one fan, as a Christian, I'm always mindful that the reason for the season is a miracle birth.

For anyone battling infertility, Christmas is a season of emotional landmines. Aside from the "miracle birth" narrative, the entire season is focused on families and children. You see them while Christmas shopping. Happy little faces beam at you from family photo Christmas cards. All your friends talk about is what their children want and what they plan to give them. When you are childless and very much want not to be, your heart and your spirit take a beating during what to seemingly everyone else is a joyous time.

I went through two Christmases battling infertility. The first was early in my battle. I was sad and getting a growing sense something was off, but we weren't officially infertile yet, just trying to get pregnant with no luck. By the second in 2007, I was battle-scarred by seven rage-filled months on Clomid, several invasive and embarrassing tests, and two misfires on IUIs. (The first had to be scrapped due to the need for more genetic testing-I was a carrier for cystic fibrosis, so J had to be tested and we had to postpone the IUI. Luckily, he was not a carrier. The second scheduled, but first actual, IUI failed right around Thanksgiving. It was hard to feel thankful.)

I really wanted to take the month of December off. I knew Christmas was going to be hard on me and I felt like taking a break from the hormones, the trigger shot, the knowing-every-second-of-every-day-where-I-am-in-my-cycle, the two-week wait, the progesterone pills I had to put in my vajayjay twice a day everyday after the IUI, all of it. I saw nothing but heartache ahead.

J is the one who convinced me to go through it all again that December. It amazes me to think back on that now, as there were definitely points in our journey where he was ready to stop if I was, where he felt like it was too much to put myself through, and I was adamantly not going to stop until there was a baby in my arms. At the moment I faltered, he boosted my spirit. Our chances on getting pregnant on the first IUI were 8 percent. The chances on the second IUI were 15 percent, almost double. In J's mind, that was reason enough to try again. I'll never know exactly why he was so confident that we should proceed in December, but I'm forever grateful he was steadfast and supportive and kept me going.

We went to our RE's office on the morning of December 14th, 2007, to check things out via the oh-so-fun vajayjay ultrasound. The previous month, none of my follicles looked promising. On this day, I had two OK follicles and one very large, VERY PROMISING follicle. It was absolutely the first time on any of my MANY mortifying vajayjay ultrasounds that I could actually "see" what the doctor was looking for, and he was very pleased. Of course, it was only one lovely follicle, but that was more than I had ever had develop properly before. He recommended we do the trigger shot that night and come in two days later for the IUI. My Mom and Daddy came over that night so Mom could help me with the shot. (J hates needles and I couldn't bear to give it to myself. My Mom was practiced in giving her sister insulin shots, so she took the job. Love my Mom. Of course, she would do anything to be a Nana!)

On the morning of Saturday, December 16th, 2007, J and I went to the RE's office and submitted ourselves to our various indignities. We went home and I spent the next two weeks attempting to distract myself in all ways possible. I really wasn't in the Christmas spirit. Mostly, I expected the worst and braced myself for it.

My pregnancy test at my RE's was scheduled for the morning of New Year's Eve. I was off work and J and I had made no plans to celebrate since I figured I'd be home sobbing into the remnants of an entire chocolate cake, while watching the ball drop in Times Square-a fitting end to my hellish year.

I went for the test first thing, then drove to my parents' house to hang out with them...J was at work. I didn't expect to hear news till the end of the day. A mere two hours later my phone rang and my doctor's words were "I hope you weren't going to make a New Year's resolution to lose weight this year, because you're going to gain a lot of weight!" I was like, "What?!" and started crying and then he said I was pregnant.

I'll never forget turning to look at my parents and seeing tears streaming down my Daddy's face. I immediately called J to tell him the good news...I hate that he wasn't with me, but since we weren't expecting good news, we hadn't really thought about it. J came home from work early that evening and we went out for dinner and smiled and laughed all night. My heart has never felt so light. We're pregnant, we're finally having a baby, we kept saying. We couldn't believe it.

Now, on the other side of my infertility battle, I'm back to loving Christmas again. Every year, during the Christmas season, I remember the circumstances surrounding Sophie's miracle birth. Although she was actually born in August, she was conceived at Christmas. She's my Christmas miracle. I feel incredibly blessed and extremely grateful. The holidays are sweeter than ever before with Sophie in them.

Sophie and me at "Peter Pan" this week.

Sophie as an Angel in her school Christmas Program this week. It's been a busy week!

But every year, I pray for those who battle on. For all the women and men silently suffering, afraid to open Christmas cards, tearing up at touching holiday commercials, wondering why they still wait for their child. I pray for them because I've been there. I pray for their miracles.

Merry Christmas to you and all the miracles in your lives.

It's a Not-So-Glam Day in the Neighborhood

Recently, I really enjoyed reading a post from Nilsa at SoMi Speaks about her typical day as a working mom. So, with her permission, I thought I'd outline my day in a similar fashion. Read on, then tell me about yours!

One of my go-to work outfits...bathroom fashion show in effect.

Wake-up. On the four days I work (Monday-Thursday), my alarm begins going off at 5:50 a.m. On a good day, I hit snooze four times and get up at 6:30. This allows me to be dressed and ready to leave the house by 7:30, which means Sophie makes it to school in time for breakfast at 8, and I get to work by 8:15. On a not-so-good day, I get up at 7, am ready to go by 8, and Sophie and I go through the Starbucks Drive-Thru for "breakfast in the car," before she arrives at school at 8:20-30, allowing me to get to the office by 8:45.

Shower. I try to keep my showers short, maybe 10 minutes. I get in, I use body wash, I shave under my arms (every day) and my legs (almost every day even in winter-can't stand going to yoga with stubble), I shampoo, then sometimes I shampoo again to give my hair more body, and then I condition.

Get ready. Once out of the shower, I brush and floss my teeth, clean and moisturize my face, put on deodorant and perfume, spray detangler on my hair and comb it, then dry my hair 75 percent of the way dry. I let the rest of it air-dry while I spend 10 minutes or so putting on makeup. My makeup routine, which I've been doing so long I can do pretty quickly, actually has quite a few steps. I put on lip balm and Neutrogena eye brightener to get rid of dark circles, then swipe on a light base and powder. Next, I use Benefit's Hello Flawless powder concealer to hide any blemishes or bags. Then, I put on lipstick, gloss, and blush. Finally, I brush and fill in my eyebrows a little, before putting on eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara. I know this sounds like a lot, but the name of the blog is Glam-O-Mommy for a reason! ;) Then, I throw on clothes and jewelry. ( I usually have at least an idea of what I'm wearing nailed down the night before.)

Sophie. While I am doing my wake-up/shower/get ready routine, J gets Sophie up, gets her dressed in her school uniform, and brushes and styles her hair. All I have to do then when I am ready is inspect her (pull up socks, adjust hair things, button buttons J overlooked LOL) and grab her backpack and whatever she needs for school that day (dance clothes for ballet, money for chapel, homework), which I always have ready to go and by the door the night before. And then we are off...

First Day of Pre-K

Commute. I work downtown and it's about a 25-30 minute drive with morning traffic (15 without). Sophie's school is three blocks from my office, so I take her in and get her settled and then am at my office within minutes. It's a pretty sweet setup and I'll miss it when Sophie goes to Kindergarten next year and goes to public school closer to our house.

Breakfast. As mentioned, I strive to get Sophie to school on time for school breakfast at 8. If we are successful, then I have breakfast at work as soon as I arrive, either a protein shake I bring from home or an egg or piece of toast or something I can buy in our cafe. And usually a Coke. I don't drink coffee, so this is my morning caffeine. On the days we are not going to make school breakfast, Sophie gets very excited about "breakfast in the car" LOL. We go through Starbucks and I get myself a Peppermint Hot Chocolate and some type of breakfast sandwich and get a Horizon chocolate milk and a protein box for Sophie. Sophie happily munches on the fruit, cheese, and scone, but makes me eat the hard boiled egg.

Lunch. When I am being good and focusing on my intake of calories, I try and bring my lunch, usually a soup and sandwich and some crackers or light popcorn, and eat a quick lunch in the cafe with coworkers. I also try to drink water with lemon during the day in addition to my 1-2 Cokes a day. At other times, I go out to eat for lunch. Last week was an exceptional lunch week. Monday, I had lunch with the mom of one of Sophie's classmates who I am getting to know better. Tuesday, J, who now offices closer to our house, was downtown at our offices for meetings, so we took the opportunity to have lunch together. (We used to eat lunch together every day when he worked down here.) Wednesday, my parents had joint eye appointments close to downtown, so we met up for lunch and it was nice to have an opportunity to chat with them without Sophie, who draws all their attention when she's with us, of course! Thursday, I brought my lunch and ate in the cafe.

Pick up. I leave work promptly at 5, pick Sophie up from school, then battle afternoon traffic all the way home. The afternoon commute always seems longer to me than the morning. I usually chat with Sophie about her day for a few minutes, then call my mother and talk to her until I pull in the driveway. Sophie often falls asleep in her carseat for the rest of the ride, as she no longer naps during the day.

Dinner. I don't cook. OK, that's not totally true. A few weekends ago, I cooked a nice spaghetti dinner on a Sunday. I've got a few things I can cook, but I don't enjoy cooking and it's the last thing I want to do after I come home from work. On the days I go to yoga I don't really eat dinner myself anyway. So during the week, either: A) J decides to cook, which happens about once a week. His meals tend to be experimental in nature. B) We make something easy like sandwiches, hamburgers, hot dogs, or macaroni and cheese. Sometimes I make chicken burgers, which are pretty healthy. Sophie also likes the kiddie Graduate meals, which are well portioned and food-group balanced, or Lunchables, which I augment with fruit. Or C) We eat out or one of us picks up food. Another option we've taken advantage of recently is the chef at Sophie's school has been making healthy dinners that you can order, pick up, and take home at the end of the day. It's $20 for a meal for four, so J usually eats the extra meal for lunch another day. The chef follows the same guidelines he does for the breakfast and lunch meals he makes for the school in terms of healthy ingredients, all food groups represented, etc. The fact that Sophie is eating well twice a day already makes me not get too hung up on what to make for dinner.

Exercise. I've been doing better at this lately. I used to Jazzercise three to four times a week pre-Sophie and do a Boot Camp class periodically, but all those classes are right after work and harder to fit in to my schedule these days. My BFF and I started going to Bikram Yoga two to three times a week about six weeks ago. We usually go at 7:30, which allows me to get home, help Sophie with pre-K homework (don't get me started), and get her something to eat. Each Bikram class is 90 minutes and we sweat and sweat and twist ourselves like pretzels and it is so hard, because I am so inflexible I might as well be a plank of wood, but it's 90 minutes where I cannot be on my cell phone and no one can talk to me except the instructor telling me how to contort myself next, so I think it's good for my mental health, if nothing else.

I am surviving...barely.

Free time. After we get Sophie to bed (around 8:30-9) or I get home from yoga (9-9:30), I usually watch whatever's stockpiled on my DVR (Castle, Modern Family, The Good Wife, Big Bang Theory, Scandal, Elementary, etc.) and check Facebook and Twitter for an hour or so, then get everything (bags, clothes, etc.) ready for the next day and go to bed.

Sleep. I usually start getting ready for bed at 10 and am at least in the bed, although maybe not asleep, by 11.

So that's my typical workday...wash, rinse, and repeat. And just to give you the idea of what the rest of my week is like...

Weekends. Since I am off every Friday, I have a lot of quality time with Sophie on the weekends. We often go to lunch and to Children's Museums or playplaces or the park or some other activity on Fridays. Saturdays, Sophie has been taking soccer for over a year, but recently switched to basketball, so we enjoy watching her in her class on Saturday mornings. Some weekends, Sophie and I have playdates with my mom friends and their kids, sometimes we go out to dinner on Saturdays as a family. We spent part of a recent Sunday at a pumpkin patch enjoying some family fun! Usually though, I spend Sunday running loads and loads of laundry, getting things ready for the work week, and going to the grocery store. I am lucky to have an understanding husband, who mostly enjoys playing games on his computer anyway, and thus doesn't mind when I want to meet my BFF out for dinner and shopping or the occasional Spurs game on a Friday or Saturday. I'm also lucky to have the Grandparentals nearby, who need a Sophie fix if they haven't seen her in awhile, and occasionally keep her overnight on a weekend, which lets J and I have date nights.

Future WNBA Player maybe?

At the Great Hill Country Pumpkin Patch in Medina, Texas

Riding like the cowgirl she is out in the Hill Country!

So what does your workday/week usually look like? Do you ever feel like you are in a rut because of the routine or are your days/weeks different? What's your favorite day of the week? (Hands down, mine is Friday Funday!) Least favorite day? (Mine is Sunday. See: LAUNDRY.)

To My Daughter, Sophie

Dear Sophie,

Right now, you are four years old. You are tall and beautiful. You are smart and funny. You are shy in certain situations and a total chatterbox in others. In other words, you are PERFECT.

I want you to know that I'm always going to love you. Nothing's ever going to change that. No matter what happens in your life, I'm here to love and support you.

When I was growing up, Nana was always there to guide me. She was, and is, my best friend. But sometimes growing up, it's hard to listen to your mother. I know, in a few short years, you may not always want to listen to me or take my advice. However, as I've grown up and become a mother to you, I've learned along the way that Nana is pretty smart. So I want to pass along to you things she taught me, and things I believe, and notes about the kind of person I'd like you to be. I'll love you no matter what, but just keep these in mind, okay?

Be kind, especially to older people.
Kindnesses are easily given to others and much appreciated. It's important to be kind and respectful to all people, but especially always try to be kind and show respect to older people. Both Nana and Papa have always been so respectful of their elders and I believe I've grown up to be the same. Older people are sometimes forgotten in society, but they were young once and have amazing stories to tell if you take a moment to listen.

Be a giver.
Nana has told me that she would rather be a giver in life, even when that giving isn't always reciprocated. She is incredibly generous of her time and talents to those in her life, especially me and you. She's someone who always considers what she can do to help a friend or family member. She sends flowers, she makes food, she runs errands for others. She lives her life with a service mentality. I try very hard to live this way in my own life, although I'm not sure I'm as good at it as she is.

Don't change yourself to keep a friend or a boyfriend in your life.
Nana always made me feel very confident in myself. I hope greatly that I can impart this feeling to you as you grow up and encounter challenges in life. Sometimes people will ask you to do something or go along with something you don't really want to. Trust your gut. Be yourself. If a friend is truly a friend or if a boy really likes you, they will like you just as you are and not force you to be someone you're not or do things you don't want to do to keep your relationship with them.

I spent many years as a single person, watching some of my girlfriends change their personalities with every guy they dated. It's okay to take an interest in something important to a guy you like or are dating (for example, I'd only seen one hockey game before I met your Dad); it's another thing to change your personality from one extreme to the next to try to make something work (it's not like I took up playing hockey and watching every game and only talking about hockey when we started dating LOL).

Daddy would tell you that I'm telling a story here and that I actually did a lot of hiking with him when we were dating and first married and I do not hike now, and that's kind of true, but we had a lot more free time TO hike back then than we do now. And I still hike occasionally!

Make special occasions special.
Even when I was little and we didn't have a lot of disposable income, Nana always tried to make special occasions special. She's big and possibly over the top on Christmas and Easter and birthdays now, as you know, but she has always made things special even when money was scarce. In fact, Nana told me that as a girl she used to wrap empty boxes and put them under the Christmas tree just to make the tree look pretty at Christmas. This story simultaneously breaks my heart, thinking of her growing up with so little (growing up poor as one of 10 children), and makes me totally indulge all the ways in which she goes over the top at Christmas now, because she deserves it.

Some of my favorite memories of "special" occasions with Nana are simple things. When I was 10, we went camping in the Rocky Mountains. One afternoon, Nana packed up an awesome picnic lunch and we took it out into the middle of a meadow in the mountains and ate it. Nana is kind of famous for making the day special with picnic lunches. Remember when we celebrated Fourth of July at Blanco State Park last year and I made a picnic lunch (like actually cooked things for it?!). Well, you definitely have Nana to thank for that.

When you were three weeks old, Daddy had gone back to work and I was home alone with you, sleep-deprived and in desperate need of a few minutes to shower. Nana came over one day and not only took care of you so I could shower, but brought all the makings of a lovely tea for us to enjoy. And not just the food...the serving dishes for the tea and soup and desserts. She set the table so lovely, as if it was tea for the Queen! I felt clean and refreshed after my shower, and you in your bouncy chair, me with my freshly washed hair, and Nana, enjoyed a lovely tea together. Just a random weekday that she made feel special.

I hope someday you remember days and events that Nana and I made special for you and you carry this forward in your own life with your own child(ren).

Stay clear of tanning, tattoos, and crazy piercings.
You only get one body in this life and I hope you are kind to it. For me, I wish I had listened more closely to Nana when she tried to get me to wear sunscreen as a child, because today I look at the freckles and age spots on my chest and hands and wish I could take them all back.

You have GORGEOUS skin right now, Pumpkin, and I am trying to do what I can to keep it that way. Luckily, you accept sunblock graciously most of the time. As you get older, you may find you want tanner skin than you have naturally. If you must tan, SPRAY TAN ONLY. I spray tan occasionally, mostly around big life events. The rest of the time I don't worry about it much. These days, I admire naturally pale women and YOU and wish I had your porcelain skin. I've never used a tanning bed and you shouldn't either. Growing up on a farm, Papa has had several skin cancers removed and I get my skin checked regularly. If I can leave you with one beauty tip in life, let it be this: TAKE CARE OF YOUR SKIN.

Oh, and um, please don't get any tattoos or crazy piercings. (One set in the ears is OK...I once had two-not worth it). Tattoos (and piercings) seem to be more accepted and prevalent in society these days, but I just can't get behind them. Nana kind of raised me with the belief that classy southern women don't get tattoos. Yes, this sounds judgmental and, well, I guess it is. Mostly, I just think there's not much I'd want to put on my body for my whole life. Maybe your name or your initials, but that's it! Not even Daddy makes the cut there-just you. And your skin and your body change so much that something that might look good at first, might not look great later.

However, if you someday feel really strongly about getting a tattoo or piercing something, please talk to me first and I PROMISE to try and have an open mind about it and I will go with you to get it. Maybe you can just do it somewhere on your body that isn't quite so visible to others, just for me? Please at least give me that! :)

Don't drink and drive. Ever. Mostly, don't drink.
Nana's father was an alcoholic. His addiction was this horrible secret in her life until he abandoned their family before her senior year of high school. Five years later, he committed suicide. I never knew him, but through what she shared with me about him, I knew what his addiction did to her. Nana never drank when I was growing up and neither did Papa. They still don't, champagne toasts at weddings aside.

Out of respect for Nana and all she had been through, I never drank alcohol in high school. Ever. I went to parties and drank soda. I was the designated driver for all my friends. I didn't care what they thought of me, I did it so she would never worry. I did the same in college. I was infamous for my non-drinking. I never drank until I was legal to do so. I spent some of my single years drinking socially in bars and clubs, but my friends and I always took turns being the designated driver.

Since I've had you, I rarely drink at all. And I don't miss it. Drinking isn't that exciting to me. It usually gives me a headache anyway. I hope you will feel the same. I hope you will have the courage to be different and not drink just because "everyone else is doing it." But I won't be mad at you IF you do it. I'll only be mad at you if you don't call me to come pick you up! I'll only be mad at you if you drive drunk or get in a car with a driver who is drunk. SO CALL ME, OKAY?!

Along these lines, just say no to smoking and drugs also. Just say no.
Smoking will kill you if you do it long enough. You know how I give you what I call "Hard Sugar"? Where I kiss you really hard on the cheek and you giggle and ask me to do it again? Well, my favorite uncle, Nana's brother, my Uncle Red, always gave me "Hard Sugar" when I was little. Giving it to you now is one way I remember him and honor his memory. He was a lifelong smoker. When I was 19, he died of lung cancer caused by smoking, way too young. The entire summer before he died, he stayed with us while he was undergoing cancer treatment. He was in so much pain, he couldn't breathe laying down and slept sitting up, and it was so, so awful. It broke my heart. Please don't ever, even for one minute, smoke a cigarette.

As for drugs, re-read what I said about alcohol above and just know that any momentary high one experiences on drugs cannot compensate for all the awful lows that addiction, out-of-control behavior, and an expensive habit automatically bring. Drugs destroy lives, so just say no.

Love yourself.
This can be very hard to do, especially as a woman in a society focused on outer beauty. Are there things I would change about myself if I could? Sure. I'd have smaller feet, a straighter nose, and a flatter stomach. In reality though, my big feet support how tall I am, which is one of my best traits-I love being tall! If my nose was straighter, I might not look like myself anymore, like Jennifer Grey post-Dirty Dancing (we'll watch this movie together when you are older). If my stomach were flatter, well, it would probably mean you didn't exist, and although it is often the bane of my existence (mostly when I see it in photos), my poochy stomach is a badge of motherhood and it is a badge I wear proudly because I fought a hard battle to earn it and bring you into this world.

In high school, I weighed 112 pounds and thought I had big hips. I wish I could go back in time and shake 1989-1991-me and make her realize how lucky she was to be so thin without any effort. When Nana looks at pictures of herself as a young girl, she now realizes she was beautiful in a way she never did at the time. I look at you and think you are perfect. You are going to be so tall and you have the most beautiful coloring and eyelashes a mile long. I cannot imagine you will ever need to wear makeup you are so naturally lovely. So love yourself, try not to compare yourself to others, and appreciate even what you think are your imperfections-they are what make you my Sophie.

My darling daughter, I love you so much. I hope that as you grow up, you and I have the type of mother-daughter relationship and friendship that I have with Nana. I hope you will always want to tell me your stories and share with me your secrets and dreams. I hope you will call me, often, for whatever reason, just because.

Love,
Mama

Adventures on the Road

Our vacation to go to my cousin's wedding turned out amazing. We had so much fun.

This was our first real road trip with Sophie. Prior to this, we'd only driven 2.5 hours to Corpus Christi with her and flown everywhere else. This was driving from San Antonio, Texas, to Crestview, Florida, which is a good 12-14 hours. AND Sophie was newly potty trained, so we had no idea what to expect. However, Sophie did not have any accidents on our trip and, best of all, every place we stopped was an exciting adventure for her.

Carseat, oversized sunglasses, princess blanket...just how I roll.

We left out at 6:15 a.m. and drove across town to beat San Antonio rush hour traffic, then stopped to have breakfast tacos at Taco Cabana. Sophie was excited for tacos and excited to point out all the suns on the wall! She was excited to go potty!

Then, we drove over halfway to Houston and stopped for gas in Weimar, Texas. When we walked in the door, the convenience store had a bull that you could ride for $1, so after we went potty, Sophie rode it and loved it!

Hilariously, the song "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins played
during the entire bull ride. Only in Texas.

At truck stops, she marveled at the big scales you could weigh yourself on in the restrooms. She pointed out when we were shown on the security camera TVs-"We're on TV, Mommy!" She napped a little and watched videos and played games on her Fisher-Price iXL while we drove. She never complained once. What normally would've been a long, ho-hum drive was actually fun since we saw it through her eyes. :)

We stopped in Biloxi, Mississippi, and spent the night at one of my favorite casinos, the Beau Rivage. When we went down to have dinner, Sophie saw all the slot machines and wanted to play. I told her those were "Big Girl Games." After a delicious meal, I went to play slots and J took Sophie to the Kiddie Arcade, aka the "Little Girl Games."

Amazingly, after losing almost $80 on quarter slots, I hit it big and won $1350 on one of them! It was so exciting! I've never won that big before. When I went back up to the room, I told Sophie, "I won at the Big Girl Games!" Sophie ran and got some little plastic fish and a ball and said "I won at Little Girl Games, Mommy!" LOL. We were all winners!

Sunrise, Gulf of Mexico, Biloxi, MS

The next morning we went for a swim in the beautiful pool and looked out over the ocean, then got dressed and checked out. We headed to Mobile, Alabama, about 30 minutes away, to meet my cousin Cindy for lunch. It was great to see her and catch up. Then, we drove on through Mobile ("We're in a tunnel, Mommy!") and Pensacola, Florida, and finally arrived at our destination: Crestview.

Several of my cousins and aunts and uncles live in Crestview, but the wedding was actually taking place in a little town called Florala, Alabama, which is 25 miles north. It's where my parents grew up and I'm related to most of the town on one side or the other by marriage. The only place to stay in Florala is a bed and breakfast, but that is where my cousin Caitlin was having the reception and her wedding party was staying there, so we had to drive back and forth from Crestview everyday.

Main Street, Florala...small town, big chair!

After checking in to our hotel, we drove up to Florala and checked on my dad and uncles who were putting up lights for the outdoor reception at the B&B. Then, we drove to my grandparents' farm to see my mom and aunts and the bride and her sister, who were working on wedding decor. Then, we drove back down to Crestview to have dinner at my uncle's house.

The next day, J and I had planned to take Sophie down to the beach in Ft. Walton, 25 miles south. I was born there and the beaches there are some of the prettiest in the world, but I can hardly ever break away to go when we visit. My cousin's wife, Ashley, and her four-year-old niece Kelsey, ended up coming with us, and actually directed us to the exact stretch of my beach my parents always brought me to when I was Sophie's age.

Nothing like the white sand beaches of Ft. Walton. I played here at Sophie's age.

After our fun beach excursion, we drove back up to the farm for dinner. It was fun to see Sophie playing and running around and enjoying the farm. I only wish my grandparents were alive to see it. She's more of a farm girl than I ever was, for sure. :)

Sophie runs around on the farm her Papa grew up on in Alabama.

My grandparents would've loved to see her enjoying the farm so much!

The next day, Sophie and J stayed at the hotel to swim and hang out, while I headed up to the farm to help prepare wedding decorations. My aunt does interior decorating as part of her job, so she literally made every flower arrangement, bouquet, corsage, and table decoration, with our family's help! It was A LOT of work, and I remember now why I paid someone to do all that FOR me, but it turned out beautiful. And it was fun to hang out with my cousins, my aunts and uncles, and my mom and dad and work on all of that together.

That night, we attended the wedding rehearsal. Sophie and her fellow flower girl Zoey followed directions well, but got a little bored standing up front while everyone worked out the ceremony details, so they began swinging their flower girl buckets around a little, much to my chagrin. However, when I tried to tell Sophie to please stop, my aunt, the mother of the bride, told me to let the girls do whatever they wanted to...swing their buckets, sit down, whatever. It would be cute no matter what.

Finally, the big day came. Sophie and I had to be up at the B&B at 2 p.m. to get her hair done. The wedding didn't start till 6. I was a little worried about keeping her entertained and out of trouble for four hours, especially when the lake and a playground were just down the hill from where we would be.

Getting her hair done. This was the first time she had ever had her hair curled,
a fact my cousins, former child pageant girls, couldn't believe!

I needn't have worried. Sophie was in the zone-very focused on her flower girl role! She played games while the stylist did her hair and then hung out in the B&B, either playing games or going with me to check on my cousin Caitlin's progress and see her in her dress. I ended up running around doing things for Caitlin and Kenna, her sister who was the Maid of Honor, or my aunt. Everyone was impressed with how well behaved Sophie was-frankly I was pretty impressed LOL.

Waiting to go down the aisle.

At 5:20, we got her into her dress and at 5:40, we crossed over to the church. I thought Sophie would run to J and my parents when she saw them seated in the church, but she merely waved and said, "Hi Daddy! Hi Nana and Papa!" and continued to her spot on the side of the church. In. The. Zone.

I was seriously proud of her! J, smiling at right, was too.

She waited patiently and then, when it was time, went sweetly down the aisle throwing flower petals like a pro. She got into place by Kenna and Zoey and quietly stood there holding her bucket for the first few minutes of the service, looking out at all the people who just a few months before would've made her cry from shyness.

Success!

And then, probably getting a little bored, she began to swing her bucket. One of the bridesmaids, thinking she would nip that in the bud, reached out and grabbed the bucket mid-swing, and attempted to take it away from her. In the audience, J and I froze and silently freaked, "Girl, what are you doing? If you get the bucket away from her, she will cry and ruin the wedding!"

Never fear...Sophie just looked at the girl and tugged the bucket back away from the bridesmaid without making a sound. The audience, made up of mostly our relatives, burst into laughter, totally on Sophie's side of the debacle. The bridesmaid turned red, completely embarrassed. I felt sorry for her. Sophie didn't swing her bucket again and kept one eye on that girl for the rest of the ceremony!

Zoey, the other flower girl, had her own moment of levity when she kept patting a pillar standing up behind them and knocked it over! Kenna caught it and had to stand it back up while everyone laughed. Then, Zoey sidled right up to Sophie and began pulling feathers off her dress. Sophie just stood there and looked at her silently and bore up well, considering she was besieged on all sides LOL.

Zoey, Caitlin, and Sophie

The moral of the story is, don't have little kids in your wedding if you want all the attention on you. :)

Sophie, Nana, and Papa after the ceremony.

Now that Sophie had performed her job beautifully, I could finally relax and enjoy myself (being the mother of the flower girl is kind of stressful!). We headed back to the B&B and spent the next three hours dancing up a storm! Sophie stayed out on the floor dancing with J, me, my parents, and trying to do all the line dances and everything!

Ashley (my cousin's wife), me, and my cousin Cari at the reception.

J, Sophie, and me get the party started!

My sweethearts.

Boogie-ing with my little dancing queen!

Thankfully, Sophie isn't old enough to be embarrassed by us yet. LOL.

The next day, we began the drive home. We drove all the way to Lake Charles, Louisiana, and spent the night at another fun casino, the L'Auberge du Lac. Sophie and I spent an hour at the gorgeous pool, and Sophie kept showing me her new dance moves in the shallow end until the pool closed for the night. J got her ready for bed while I stole off to the casino for a little bit (good thing I don't live close to any casinos or I might have a problem LOL), My lucky streak continued-I won $283 on quarter slots, only investing $40 to do so.

We arrived home safely the next day. The entire trip went better than I expected at every turn, especially Sophie's performance as flower girl in the wedding! Sophie continued her trend of growing up and showing us new sides of herself on every trip we take. I look forward to more adventures on the road with her and J in the future.

What has been the best road trip you've taken with your kids?