As you may have noticed, the way I describe myself above is "I aspire to glamour. My life is not remotely glamorous." Ha! Tonight is a perfect example of that.
It's Saturday night. In my single 20s, on Saturday nights, I'd get dressed up. The evening started at 9 p.m. with dinner with girlfriends, followed by dancing at a club from 11 p.m. until last call at 2 a.m. This was sometimes followed by early morning tacos on the way home to my apartment and then sleeping till noon. Ah...those were the days.
When I started dating my now-husband at 29, our dates started out following that late-night/dressed up timeline, but then began creeping earlier (although I still dressed up). Once we were married, Saturday nights, if we went out, were more along the lines of dinner at 7 p.m., followed by a movie, or ice skating, or grabbing a drink at a bar or something until 10 or 11 p.m. and then home. (I still dressed up. Usually.)
Now that I'm a mother, Saturday nights are often like tonight. Feed and bathe daughter, put her to bed by 7:30 or 8 p.m. Watch crappy TV or the occasional movie on pay-per-view (while husband plays World of Warcraft on the computer and goes to bed early) while folding/ironing loads and loads of laundry. Go to bed at midnight. Wash, rinse, repeat. Tonight, I am wearing the shorts and t-shirt I threw on at the end of my and my daughter's Baby and Me swim class this morning, which means I didn't actually shower today and I didn't go anywhere. SO not glam.
Occasionally, if I am very lucky, I make plans to meet one of my fellow mom friends on Saturday night for a late dinner. We meet at about 8:30 p.m., after we've seen our kids off to bed for the night, with our homebound husbands on kid duty (mine playing Warcraft as usual). We meet at a semi-hip restaurant, semi-dressed up, eat, gossip, and talk mommy stuff for about three hours, then look at our phones in horror upon realizing how late it is, and go home. (We would stay out later, except that the kids get up SO early.) It's funny to think that about 10 years ago, the two of us used to dance on the stage at one of the local clubs and now we're obsessing over preschools and potty training.
Very occasionally, my husband and I will leave our daughter overnight with the grandparentals (my parents, who live across town) and have a date night. The last time we did this, a few months back, we had a late lunch/early dinner, then went to an 8 p.m. movie (Date Night LOL, which is a hysterical movie--if you haven't seen it, rent it), then went to a bar and game room. Where we saw people with babies all over the place. AT A BAR. Which totally ruined our night, because we kept saying to each other, "What is wrong with these people? It's 11 p.m., why do they have their baby out with them?! Ours has been asleep for three hours already! OMG, that couple has the baby's bottle PROPPED in its mouth in the stroller...they're not even holding and feeding their own kid! AAAGH!" Total. Buzzkill. So we just came home. And haven't had a date night since.
Don't get me wrong...I wouldn't trade this life for anything. My 20-something clubgoing days were filled with a lot of Single Bitter Woman angst and "I'm-going-to-become-a-spinster-cat-lady" melodrama on my part. I'm happy to be married and a mommy. And most Saturdays, tired from the week, I'm happy to stay in, watch crappy TV, and catch up on laundry. Really!
But sometimes, I miss a good night out, dressed up to the nines, and dancing the night away. Sometimes.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
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oh my gosh. So funny! And so true! The Warcraft thing made me laugh! I am actually about ready to change a load of laundry right now. Your evening sounded very similar to mine! It's funny because on the rare occasion the hubs and I go out on a date we ALWAYS see babies and kids and end up talking about them the whole night! But babies in bars? kind of funny...with a twist of plain sad...that would be a buzzkill. Hope you have a good Sunday!!! :-)
ReplyDeleteThe first thing I thought of when you said parents had their children at a bar (well besides thinking those parents are out of their freaking minds) was that line in Sweet Home Alabama. "You have a baby...in a bar!
ReplyDeleteMy hubby and I haven't had a night out since our daughter was born, almost 15 months ago. We had our parents here for her 1st birthday back in April and they were telling us to go out but I just couldn't do it. I can only be away from her for two hours at the most and then it's like I ache for her. Lately though I would love to have a night out. :)
Thanks Kimberly! Yes, I am occasionally a Warcraft widow, although my husband tries to only play after our daughter goes to bed for the evening, so that's nice. :)
ReplyDeleteI love that movie, Elle! And I thought of that line at the time too! I know what you mean...it is hard to be away from the baby sometimes, that's why my mom friend and I often meet after we put the kids in bed...they are safely home with the husbands, and we wouldn't be "seeing" them anyway because they are asleep! Other times, we meet for dinner with the kids or meet at someone's house for a playdate and order food in. My parents are awesome with my daughter and love to spend time with her, so they are our only babysitters (outside of her day school, of course). Still, we didn't leave her for more than a few hours with them until she was 13 months old...we left her overnight with them for the first time so we could celebrate our fifth anniversary. We went to Austin, about an hour away, and spent the night in a nice hotel and ate out, and it was just great. Did some shopping on the way home, and then were SO happy to see her! So now, every once in awhile, we'll let them keep her overnight, because honestly, it's a gift to all of them...my daughter has so much fun with them and they love it! I'm their only child, so she's their only grandchild, so they are just crazy about her and she basks in all of their love and attention!
ReplyDeleteI honestly cannot tell you the last time I went out with girlfriends. And Jeff and I have been on a total of 3 dates since I got pregnant with Shelby in 2005. Honestly, I find life so much easier when I'm not busy outside of my family life. I know it sounds boring to so many of my friends, but we instituted our whole movie night specifically to give a set family activity on the weekend. To load my kids up drive them across town to a theater, unload them, wait in line, search for seats and then have them not like a movie? Not gonna happen! I do enjoy it when we do go out or if a friend stops by for dinner, but I like being home with the kids just as well!
ReplyDeleteSince my daughter is not quite two, I haven't taken her out to see a movie yet. (And my husband does not actually like going to the movies, so it's rare I get to see one in the theater anyway...Date Night was an exception!) I am taking my daughter to see Nickelodeon's Storytime Live Show in August (featuring Dora, the Backyardigans, the Wonder Pets, and Kai-lan--all her faves!) and that is essentially going to be a test to see if she will pay attention in a theatre for a little over an hour before I commit to any future theatre events with her!
ReplyDeleteKristen, I do enjoy my time with my mom friends, even though it is generally short, just because we are kind of a little support group for each other. I didn't join an official mom's group, because I knew I would be going back to work after maternity leave and wouldn't have time for that. The two other girlfriends I get together with on a semi-regular basis are also working moms with kids of a similar age, so it's kind of nice to have a sounding board of other working moms! I do try to maximize my time with my daughter though!
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